"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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