I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
