Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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