I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
