She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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