Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
