I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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