how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
