Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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