Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
