five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We need to rekindle our bromance
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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