i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
