I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
