So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
