I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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