i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
