Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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