do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
