How'd it feel making her break her religion?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
