I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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