Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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