You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
