I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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