Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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