words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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