I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
