whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize