I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
