I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
