shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
