I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize