He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
