You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
