U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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