I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
