i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I looked at my own cervix.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
