are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
