i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
