I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
