The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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