mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
