Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
