Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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