He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
