You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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