Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
