We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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