Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
