like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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