you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the condom got lost in my hair
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
