Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
