he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
