Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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