He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you would pick up someone in the library
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
