he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
