we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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