let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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